Reply to How to accept one's personality?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, are you me? This is my exact situation. Like right down to the volunteering where I can tell that the organizers are annoyed when I say "I can do X" and then they want me to do XYZ and I say no.

I think we should stay strong. I didn't used to be this way -- I was actually a people pleaser who overextended myself for years because that's what my mom was like, and that is way worse. People take you for granted and then get mad when you start to reduce your workload because they view you as selfish for merely reducing what you are doing down to an amount similar to others. I've even had people who do LESS than me express frustration that I'm saying no to something I've done in the past, because they've just gotten used to the idea that I provide that free service for them.

I think middle aged women, in particular, just get conscripted into a lot of BS volunteering and it's one of the reasons a lot of women at this age are perpetually aggrieved. Hold the boundary. You don't owe anyone anything.[/quote]

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