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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes. I am 4:58. We have realized that my mom is more upset by my presence and my father's presence, whereas more distant relatives or professional caregivers make her much calmer. I think it may be two things: 1) we are too familiar so it makes the magnitude of what she's lost real; and 2) we may remind her of her parents (who were abusive). Folks in later stages of dementia regress and if they had traumatic families of origin, the familiar faces are scary.

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I really appreciate you posting this. I set off agitation and abusive behavior and my mother came from an abusive mother. She is treating me the same way my grandmother treated my aunt and uncle (mom was favorite). You mention regressing and she also treats me the way she did when I was a kid- highly controlling and condescending. I finally got peace and no longer needed therapy when I stepped back, got an outside professional involved to manage care and had her spend time with just about anyone but me because she was kind to them. We had a calm relationship  from when I became an adult up until she entered her 70s.[/quote]

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