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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, you have to turn over more of the care to someone who is less triggering and triggered by the assaults. I cannot take my mom’s violence and hurtfulness. She wasn’t like that before, and she would have protected me ferociously from anyone that behaved that way toward me (and did). So now I need to manifest her wishes for me and protect me from her.

It’s my way of caring for her.

And don’t let anyone who hasn’t gone through violent Alzheimers or FTD or Lewy Body or anything similar give you…any…SHIT…ABOUT…IT! They don’t know.

We have one life. My mom in her healthy mind wouldn’t want me to live my life being crushed by her. [/quote]

This is a profound realization - that not only do they trigger us, it seems we trigger them? I was just met with loads of passive aggressive behavior because I asked her to boil her own ravioli if she can, and if she truly cannot, I said I would do it for her.  She looked at the ravioli, turned around and was making snide remarks as I ate my salad. Maybe I am in the wrong but she steadfastly claims that she cooks simple meals when she’s at her own home and I am trying to see if it’s true. I do think she can do it, but she just wants me to take care of her (regardless that I am working today, and have kids). I am not some miracle worker who can do everything at once.[/quote]

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