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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]the person has not been formally diagnosed yet.

the person currently named may end up taking money. they could not handle their own affairs. [/quote]

I know people on here make it seem easy, but having been faced with some similar issues, I did have to let it go for my health and for the sake of the family I created. The parents knew the person's issues and just had a lot of magical thinking about how aging would go and POA mostly because they didn't do any of it with their own parents. I think it was just assumed I would step in as needed and magically I could make it all better. In my case pushing for the dementia evaluation made me the evil villain and was used by sibling to stoke fires and turn parent completely against me. Sibling now has parent funding all sorts of expenses. It's very sad, but many decisions were made by both my parents when cognitively fine, they just weren't involved doing any of this for their own parents and they ignored all the horror stories they heard. There were a lot of dysfunctional dynamics when they were cognitively fine. Sibling has promised parent the moon, but will likely be conveniently missing when needed. My parent is convinced I am the devil at this point so there is no use in intervening. The best thing I did was convince parent to allow a social worker to visit on a regular basis so we make sure decline is tracked and proper services recommended. If parent ends up in a lower grade nursing home, this a natural consequence of trusting someone who has never been trustworthy. I don't expect to get money, but the one thing I have that this sibling does not have is a capacity for joy. I now how to appreciate things in life. Sibling is miserable and all the financial gifts only give a very fleeting boost. Most relationships have gone up in flames and even the kids are not happy in that home. Health, joy, good relationships and creating a stable family are priceless. I am glad I protected my family from getting sucked into the chaos.
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