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[quote=Anonymous]My Mom and Dad are both in their 90s, very close in chronological age. 
Dad has become much frailer in the past year or so. We have a nurse at home for him, to help him with toileting, mostly, and he has OP and PT. He seems happy, though to save $$, he wants to dismiss the nurse, and they have done so, on weekends. 
This means my Mom is the unpaid nurse most of the time. She is vigorous, social, and happy to take care of him most of the time. But she doesn't like the toilet help (who does?) and knows that things are not going to improve with time. She'd be open to looking at senior residences--Dad would be safe; it would be much more affordable; and Mom could go out to lunch with a friend without worrying about Dad being alone. 
Dad will have none of it. He wants to stay at home; he says he doesn't want to go to one of "those places." Well, who does? We (and Mom) tell him about the toll it's taking on Mom, and he is silent. 
Financially, they could probably stay at home for another few years, with nurses (this is more expensive than even the fanciest senior residence). But it's very unfair to Mom. I'm starting to really dislike my Dad. 
We don't know what to do. [/quote]

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