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[quote=Anonymous]Some things that really went poorly- I brought a side dish and a dessert to share. They were snubbed and not let at the table for Thanksgiving/Christmas. It wasn't anything weird either, I'm a good cook and it was my family's recipe. DH's grandma's words really stung. Flash forward 15 years- I just show up, don't bring anything (dh can make something if he wanted to), eat what I'm served and smile. 
-I got told a lot of times those first few years that "we can't do that, it's not TRADITION", mostly from my SILs. We don't spend Christmas Eve or morning there any longer because I want to have input into what traditions my kids have. There wasn't space for me in theirs. If I want to read "The Night Before Christmas" to them on Christmas eve, I'm going to do that. Or if I want to open presents in the morning, we will (they opened in afternoon after everyone slept in and showered). Or if I want to use my kids' stockings that I made and stuff them myself, don't have competing stockings of your own.

TLDR- ask them what their traditions are, if they'd like to bring something to share and be flexible. This is not a new person just integrating into your holiday. Holidays grow and change too. [/quote]

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