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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. Sorry, I made so many typos as I was dictating and my vision isn’t good.

We tried individual therapy, and then separate therapy courses for parents to cope with difficult behaviors.

This seems worse than normal.  The child lacks motivation, and thus somehow we the parents let him down… I do understand that.  [b]He doesn’t want to do one sport he l He has been doing since the age of three… he wants to quit music…. He doesn’t read at night anymore…. He can’t get himself t to do the homework, unless he gets like 10 nice prompts and then raised voices and scolding ultimately… the other day he wanted to dress in the pan which is too big so that it looks baggy and down and again I had to raise my voice saying absolutely not… If we ask him to help around the house, he will just say no. He doesn’t want to help because he’s too tired.etc etc…[/b]

I just heard a lot of things that are bad about boarding schools and then after searching some I found one private military school that looks like a good deal even as it is very expensive.   I will basically have to work in order to fund that school, which is actually OK with me.  Maybe I am being very naïve, but I am thinking cold turkey change well actually deliver good outcomes. The structure and flexibility to make choices for yourself in terms of developing your interests and accomplishing something will help I am thinking.  DH is not fully on board. He wants to continue and take one day at a time but my health has taken a really sharp downturn due to stress It is impacting my ability to just function….

[/quote]

This sounds pretty typical for a teen.  Maybe back off a bit and focus on the things that really matter.  Let him wear pants that are too big.  Is he failing classes? If not, stop getting on him about school.

We looked into military schools because my kid was having serious issues and got in trouble with the police.  I was surprised that I found one that would be a good fit, but when we looked at it more, we really thought it was best if he was on board. It wasn’t a strict reform school but more of a leadership college prep boarding school.   We may go again and visit this summer, now that things are better and he might be interested in it for other reasons.

There are all kinds and I’ve known people who have sent their kids or been sent for discipline reasons as teens. I know one adult who said it was good and turned around his life.  I know others who went back to their old ways after.  Usually they were much more serious situations than parents being frustrated about waking up, chores and hw.  [/quote]

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