Reply to Any good ways to talk about sexual frequency?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm a wife in the same boat as you are. The very fact that I keep track of the last time we had sex is a problem for my DH. Yet, his response when I bring up the topic generally (and I initiate 100% of the time because I have a higher drive) is that it hasn't been "that long."  Our kids are even older than yours.

Here's how I am handling, after years of "discussing" and going to marriage counselling that did not result in him initiating or greater sexual frequency:  I initiate more thoughtfully ( at 9:30 pm, rather than at 11 pm, when he's tired) and I masturbate much more.  When we were dealing with this issue originally, I thought I could appeal to his masculinity and get him to "snap out of it" by basically threatening self service. I know as a wife my ego couldn't handle it if our roles were reversed. My DH is relieved that I chose that route, takes the pressure off of him (!).  I don't understand it, but I have come to accept it. We've been together 20 years.

So, not to be discouraging, but if our spouses don't want it, they don't want it. I find supplementing with solo activities makes the times we are together more enjoyable.  Good luck.[/quote]

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