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[quote=Anonymous]I think one unsolicited offer is fine, e.g. this is such a tough process, if you ever have any questions about what we learned going through it, I'm happy to talk.

And then let it go. My great-nephew is in 10th grade, first gen, and I've let his mom, my niece, know (once) that I'm happy to help if they have any questions (I have 2 kids in college and do volunteer college counseling for 1st gen students). But I will not bring it up again.

You do sound condescending and bringing that attitude to it is not going to make them receptive. You also need to respect that their vision of what they want may be different from yours, especially if their kids' academic profile is very different. Another nephew asked me a lot of questions as he was applying to colleges. In the end, for both financial and personal reasons, he decided to go to community college and then the local university, living at home the whole time. That was a good outcome for him and they would not have at all been receptive to me emphasizing how to position yourself for the most selective college you can get into. I did explain the range of options, how merit aid works, etc. but also once he decided on CC we talked about how to make the most of that path.[/quote]

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