Reply to Fair division of household responsibilities vs. income

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You’re having a discussion with someone who talks to his spouse about how much she earns in relation to their partnership as parents? WTH is wrong with him? Shut that nonsense down.

This isn’t a YOU problem, it’s a WE problem. You both have to sit down and figure this out. Maybe you trade off days for meal/pickup. Maybe you invest in a meal prep service. Maybe you each adjust your schedules. Maybe he’s in charge of Saturday dinner and you’re in charge of Sunday dinner and then you alternate each weekend.

All I know is that the salary each person makes has to be taken off the table. It’s getting in the way of a reasonable but challenging  discussion about parenting and household responsibilities.

As a last result, you can get a copy of the Fair Play book. That has been recommended here and would be helpful in your situation. [/quote]

Agree mostly with this, and have also done the Fair Play cards and thought it was useful. That said, I make 4x what my DH makes and that definitely enters into the equation somewhat.

Can you make up the missing hours after kids go to bed? That’s what I do. Something has to give and for me it’s personal time, of which I have basically zero during the week.[/quote]

Stop making it about money. I’m a public school principal. I work 65+ hour weeks. I will never make as much money as a spouse who, say, works in finance. But we’re both working just as hard.

This is about a partnership. When you reduce each partner’s contribution to the care of children and the house by dollars made, something’s wrong. [/quote]

If it's not about money than OP should sign a post nup in which whatever money they have saved until now all goes to her spouse.  He can use some of his money to pay for hired help for his 50% of the chores.

Going forward, since it's not about money, all household expenses should be split 50/50 and he can bank as his own money any extra leftover from his income, less any amount he needs to pay to outsource his 50% of the chores.  She can do the same.  If her half of income isn't enough to pay her half of the household expenses, she can sign a promissory not to him as a loan.  If need be she will need to quit her dream job and get a higher paying job.

Is that fair enough for you?[/quote]

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