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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For most of our marriage, I've had flexible low-paying jobs or freelanced, while DH worked an intense finance job, making 300-500k. (I started in finance too, but I didn't like it and I thought our life would be easier if one person had more flexibility, so I changed fields). So I was responsible for most of the house (and kids, when they came along). He did bills, taxes, car maintenance, and took out the trash. Sometimes he'd help clean up or run an errand. This worked for us and felt fair.

Recently, we both made major job changes. He was burning out and took a less intense job. He now makes 200k and works 9:00-6:30 (from home), plus 6 or so hours on evenings and weekends.  I found an opportunity I love that's semi-intense. It pays 100k and I need to work like 45 hours/week.

He picked up a bit more at home, but I still do the lion's share. I can barely fit in 40 hours with all the responsibilities at home. 
I am really struggling and dropping the ball both at work and at home. Probably the hardest part is meal prep - I run out without finishing my work to get the kids from aftercare and daycare, I get home and they're hungry and want attention, and there's nothing to eat. Repeat every single day. On the weekend, if we don't have plans to go out, I'm the default person to think of and prep a meal too.

We can't afford a nanny, esp one who will cook. I would like to split the workload more equally with DH. For example, have him stop at 5 and do the pickups and watch kids while I cook dinner, or vice versa. DH says that's too much for him. Since I still make half what he does, he thinks it's fair and it's just the price I pay for following my passion rather than taking a job that's either part-time or higher paying. Of course if I had a higher paying or part-time job, this problem would disappear, but I am working at my dream job and don't want to give it up.

I need an outside perspective. What is fair here?[/quote]

He is right.  You are wrong.[/quote]

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