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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Thanks.
I have an individual counselor.
This marriage counselor is good. He is the only one so far my DH listens to. The yelling and other verbal/emotional abuse has gone from a 10 to about a 3-4 since we started two months ago. I am aware that only a zero would be acceptable. I am going to give this about four more months before deciding what makes sense to do.

Our last session my husband rambled for about half an hour about his wounds, traumas, perceived slights, and how impossible it is to live with me when I challenge his reality but how he wants the relationship still (what?). When I spoke he shut me down and went on and on about how what I’m saying isn’t true and it’s made up, I don’t show up authentically but he does, I shouldn’t even speak, etc. I think the counselor got a good sense of his pathologies.  He told him he needs to stop invalidating what I say and claiming that he is the only source of truth. However I wonder if my DH is too far gone in whatever mental health break this is to manage doing so.[/quote]

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