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[quote=Anonymous]If your DH was angry and irritable to the point of being emotionally abusive, and you were in counseling together, would you let things slide as much as possible or try to address? Some things I’m trying to let slide but others I want to address. I’m so over his behavior I don’t know how to bring it up constructively though.

1) emotional outbursts 
Ex. We were supposed to meet to work through some financial stuff for greater transparency. He did it all without me in the 10 min before I came. When I came and asked to see some documentation related to it he had an outburst, yelled and called me “nasty” repeatedly and some other things as well.

2) mean behavior in front of the kids
yelling, criticism, stonewalling

3) lack of responsibility 
Wanted to split parenting schedule to rotate responsibilities. Fine. Doesn’t cook, just does takeout or restaurants (one kid has a condition where diet is important). Gets babysitters and goes out on his nights “with the kids.” Does not do the random things around the house that need doing, like replace lightbulbs, fix cabinet door that fell off hinges months ago, etc. Yells at me to take care of more things around the house. Won’t do admin related to kids or help with their special needs stuff, homework, practice. Only wants to be fun dad turning on the TV.

He is so dysregulated that he can’t make it through a therapy session without an outburst. I have cut down on our interaction and communication significantly. Counselor seems focused on how he can calm himself down which I agree seems key. Do I just stay out of the way or do I bring up, for example, 1) in sessions to address?
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