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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Definitely do not move her in. Insist on couple's counseling. If he is more alied with his mother than with his wife and is not taking your feelings into account this is a MUST because otherwise your marriage is in danger. Having an elder move in can strain even the healthy unions. Make sure the therapist is highly savvy to sandwich generation issues and aging issues. her behavior will not improve once she is in your home for good and your husband needs to understand what aging can truly look like.

If he refuses therapy, I would go into therapy yourself to figure out your own boundaries with all this and to explore if there are other areas of your marriage where you are completely disrespected.

Do you always visit with him? If so, I would negotiate having him do some visits on his own.[/quote]

There are no problems with my husband except when it comes to his mother. He constantly tries to rationalize her actions by attributing them to her mental illness. The underlying issue, however, is that her true nature has always been devoid of empathy and goodness. With three children and our demanding schedules, it's not always feasible for us to visit her together due to school commitments and work. However, whenever I do visit, I inevitably end up shouldering all the responsibilities while she remains consistently depressed. The whole focus is on her. This is another concern of mine. If she were to move in, my husband might expect me to be the primary caregiver, which would greatly affect the quality of my life. I know, being an only child is hard but I am not sure what other options I can give me.[/quote]

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