Reply to Worried about his future

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. I’ve only just started reading about PDA and a lot of the advice is about reframing demands to see more like a choice or a collaborative task. I’m more than happy to do this, and he has wonderful teachers and therapists who will do this too. I just worry for his future. His colleagues and boss aren’t going to keep rephrasing demands until he’s no longer triggered. I think everyone is becoming more understanding about what it means to be on the spectrum, but I’m concerned for his future relationships both personally and professionally. I appreciate what the PP is saying about my anxiety not changing the outcome, but I want to make sure I’m getting him the right help while he’s young so he develops good coping skills.[/quote]

Is it the case that he will need this support (reframing all requests as choices) forever?  Your kid will still mature and change as he grows, so I am not sure that meeting his needs now means you will have to do the same things for his whole life.  Arguably, meeting his needs now and then supporting him while challenging him to accept demands in small doses over time is how he will be successful, right?   So reframing things is a “for now” thing to help him feel safe and secure enough to handle requests in the future.

Don’t discount maturity.  Even for complex SN kids it can really help (until teenage hormones!)[/quote]

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