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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a childhood survivor of notable domestic abuse.  I'm in my mid-50s, haven't experience abuse in over 30 years, have had a lot of therapy, have been in a healthy marriage for 20+ years and in a good place. That's not to say that the last 30 years have been problem free or that I haven't experienced significant relationship stress, I have.  But over the last year, I've had a resurgence of 'sleep hypervigilence' that is increasing and I'm not sure what to do about it.

By 'sleep hypervigilence' I mean that when I'm asleep, my subconscious reacts to people-noises before my rational brain kicks in.  I am in instant fight/flight mode - sometimes my response is to swing, sometimes I leap out of bed ready to run. It's disorienting/terrifying for me and disturbing/frightening for anyone who made the noise.

It's usually my DH who's made the noise.  He often gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I never react when he leaves, only when he comes back.  For a long time (starting when we were first sleeping together), I was fine if he quietly called my name before entering the room.  Now, it has to be from the hallway and, even then, I'm starting to react at that noise rather than a noise in the bedroom (which is the usual trigger). When I'm startled by a person-noise in the bedroom, my reaction can be intense.

I haven't been able to identify a trigger (other than the noise) or things that exacerbate it (other than it sometimes gets worse if I'm under stress).  Alcohol makes no difference, I'm not taking any prescription medications, I get good exercise and while I need less sleep than I used to (7 hours rather than 8-9), I sleep well and wake rested.  Could it be a reaction to menopause?  Any advice for mitigating the symptoms?[/quote]

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