OP again. Thanks for the continued responses. Some additional info: I've done EMDR as well as IRT, EFT, CBT and Gottman. It's all been really helpful but since my childhood trauma isn't negatively impacting any other area of my life. I don't know how beneficial it will be. I don't problems falling asleep and, with the exception of the sleep vigilence, actually get very good sleep. I had a sleep study a few years ago and nothing showed up.

We've got 2 dogs and while they don't sleep in our bedroom (their noises will wake me up which is why they aren't in the room but they don't startle me). They can bark, snore, drink water, whine, etc. while in the other room and it doesn't bother me. I also don't have a problem hearing the door alarm beep, an alarm from a kid's room or the microwave going off. Smells will wake me up (coffee, bacon, etc.) but I just ask that whoever's in the kitchen to crack a window and it's fine - but, again, I'm not startled. I dislike white noise machines because I feel like they interfere with me getting a restful sleep. I can't seem to ignore them and I've never been able to get used to them.

The startling/vigilence is strictly associated with people- noises. I had very good reasons when young to be vigilent but, as I said in my OP, it's been over 30 years since I've experience abuse. I am thinking as 22:40 suggested that it may be menopause related. I've got an appointment with a menopause.org certified provider next week and will ask about it as well as the medications suggested here. How ironic it would be that neural pathways forged when young now come to the forefront when everything else that is 'young' about me is fading......

OP I wear wax ear plugs and noise cancelling ear phones. That also helps.

I have this from being attacked while I was sleeping. Trauma triggers and stress get it going again. Prazosin and Xanax have worked.

I have given up on trying to manage the screaming if someone touches me while I’m asleep. I warn whoever might be there, but I’m not going to medicate for it every night of my life. The swinging and fighting went away about 10 years after the attack. I am now mostly apathetic about my responses. I warn whoever might be there. If they trigger it, then I see it as a FAFO kind of thing. I don’t have lasting panic from these reactions. It’s just the reaction, then slight annoyance that they didn’t listen to me.

Hugs to all of you posters!

I have a child who experienced hard things before coming to live with us and I recall when he first met us, he would go to sleep, but then pop up regularly and look over the crib to make sure we were still there. He is 12 now and still has some sleep issues.

I’m also in perimenopause and experiencing sleep issues, OP. As soon as you said your age, I also wondered if me I could be impacting your sleep. Sounds like all the posters have good suggestions. Would a white noise machine help at all - is it actually the noise waking you??

I overcame sleep vigilance and general fear of sleeping by getting a dog. No one is getting near me, or my doors or windows, without my dog going NUTS. It gives me enough peace of mind that I am able to relax.

I used to have to sleep on the couch where I could monitor both doors to the home. Now I can sleep in my bed because of my dog.

Alarm system helped too (before the dog) but the dog is the best solution I've found.

I used to have the same—walk up screaming before I was really conscious. Felt kind of like sleep paralysis. (I’m a violent assault survivor—over 20 yrs ago now— if the context is helpful). I did EMDR this spring and it hasn’t happened since. Hugs to you.

OP again. Thanks so much for your responses. I'm sorry you all suffer from this as well. It's a crappy thing.

My DD was put on Prazosin for PTSD nightmares & sleep vigilance and it was really effective. She took it nightly for about a year, then successfully weaned off it and is now doing fine.

I have the same issue. I got a medical marijuana card and I find that a combo of THC, CBD, CBG and CBN help me relax and sleep.

I'm sorry for what you went through. I wish people who abuse children understood that what they do to us is give us a life sentence of suffering.

OP here. Thanks for your responses, they're very helpful. Do you take the medication every night or just when you're having a flare up?

Trazodone is one option but there are some other meds that also have good effect on this—Prazosin is one.

I am so sorry, OP; my husband also has this background and experience and the way sleep is for him has been permanently shaped by it. I have absolutely no doubt that his neurology was rewired by what he experienced. Be gentle on yourself.

Anonymous wrote:I am very much like you. I take Trazadone before bed and it knocks me out sufficiently without making me drowsy the next day.

+1 Trazodone at the right dose has changed my life. I ended up needing a hefty dose and while I had some morning drowsiness in the first few weeks, I adjusted and that wore off.

I am very much like you. I take Trazadone before bed and it knocks me out sufficiently without making me drowsy the next day.

I'm a childhood survivor of notable domestic abuse. I'm in my mid-50s, haven't experience abuse in over 30 years, have had a lot of therapy, have been in a healthy marriage for 20+ years and in a good place. That's not to say that the last 30 years have been problem free or that I haven't experienced significant relationship stress, I have. But over the last year, I've had a resurgence of 'sleep hypervigilence' that is increasing and I'm not sure what to do about it.

By 'sleep hypervigilence' I mean that when I'm asleep, my subconscious reacts to people-noises before my rational brain kicks in. I am in instant fight/flight mode - sometimes my response is to swing, sometimes I leap out of bed ready to run. It's disorienting/terrifying for me and disturbing/frightening for anyone who made the noise.

It's usually my DH who's made the noise. He often gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I never react when he leaves, only when he comes back. For a long time (starting when we were first sleeping together), I was fine if he quietly called my name before entering the room. Now, it has to be from the hallway and, even then, I'm starting to react at that noise rather than a noise in the bedroom (which is the usual trigger). When I'm startled by a person-noise in the bedroom, my reaction can be intense.

I haven't been able to identify a trigger (other than the noise) or things that exacerbate it (other than it sometimes gets worse if I'm under stress). Alcohol makes no difference, I'm not taking any prescription medications, I get good exercise and while I need less sleep than I used to (7 hours rather than 8-9), I sleep well and wake rested. Could it be a reaction to menopause? Any advice for mitigating the symptoms?