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Reply to "Anyone’s spouse work weekends?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are you asking? How can you nurture togetherness when you aren't together? You can't. This is the kind of thing that drives people to divorce or just having a crappy marriage and makes kids resent one or both parents.

But maybe you're just talking about working part of the weekend? My husband works a lot (big law partner). We still do a lot of family things on the weekend and hang out together most evenings. He often takes kids to their activities and school, we go out to brunch together, etc. I guess the trick is that my husband just really enjoys spending time with family so he does it whenever he can.[/quote]

We lived like this for our whole marriage, and yes, it ruined a lot of our family.   He has always worked 6 days a week (!) and then Sundays were when he would sleep late, relax, etc.      I look back and I'm both not surprised at the state of our family and marriage, and simultaneously shocked that I stayed this long despite begging for decades to do something different.    Our kids are mostly grown now and it's sad.   I'm angry at myself for allowing our children to miss out on normal family time their whole lives.   I did as much as I could by myself, but I'm pretty resentful of that, too.   It was a recipe for disaster from the start.
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Was/does your husband engage in a 6-day working week by choice or financial necessity? (Or, somewhere in the middle--working that much in order to achieve a chosen type of lifestyle?) You said you did as much as you could by yourself, does that mean you were a SAHM or that you had a more traditional work schedule? Curious where the breakdown in expectations/desires happened here.

I come from an extended family where folks working two jobs/taking tough shifts is the norm. It is not ideal, and a failure of public policy for the most part, but I have trouble with the idea that one spouse working 6 days a week can't equate to a "normal family."

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