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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You just still have the aide show up, they are used to this. You don't give in. [/quote]

They are legally prevented from providing the services unless my mother consents. [/quote]

Hmm. They should have lots of tricks to elicit a grudging non-refusal of services. Otherwise, just get someone who is willing to come in. How do you think other families deal with this? Managing a dementia patient involves lots of lies, OP.

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That’s not how it works there, unfortunately. Services are by the book and on the books. I can’t just hire a random person who isn’t even qualified, to show up. Also she’s have to pay for it, did I mention she has a generous pension? She’s in the top 5-10% of income there, just with the pension for herself. This isn’t a country without a safety net where kids have to fund the bills for their underinsured parents.[/quote]

Which country? I’ve lived in Germany, France and the UK, and I’m having a hard time believing you.

Also, can you place her in an appropriate care home?

[/quote]

Germany comes very close, but I don’t think you know much about German laws and dementia care there. I am certainly more knowledgable in that area than you - given you never even lived in the country I am referring to. I lived there for over 20 years and am a qualified attorney there. I know the customs, culture etc. however I rely on my sister to organize stuff there as I am in the US. To summarize, no - the can’t force her, they can advise her, they can help as long as she SIGNS the request form. Dementia patients can sometimes really act normal for a brief 30 minutes or as long as the case management conference /visit took this morning. So they’re not coming back unless there’s a proven deterioration. This ship has sailed. My sister said she’s not even going to try with some other private service, WHICH MY MOM HAS THE RIGHT TO REFUSE AS WELL. She can just not let them into her house when they arrive. Also - you have no idea about how it works there. Once you are in the government system, they increase care as needed. Whatever you can’t afford, the government pays for (in home!). They never even touch your assets. So this amazing system will break down in the next 10-20 years because it’s so costly. But until then - she paid astronomical taxes and it’s her time to benefit for once. I am certainly not going to pay out of pocket for something that she has a legal right to (and it’s better than private aides to boot). I certainly won’t hire anyone unlicensed and uninsured either.[/quote]

^^ sorry for the rant but I am exhausted by all this and don’t need someone who doesn’t know the laws and customs, nor the rights and benefits in that country, to lecture me on what she does or doesn’t believe.[/quote]

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