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[quote=Anonymous]This sounds like a vicious cycle.

I wonder what would happen if you reacted positively to the "Hey, I asked about your day and cleaned the kitchen once." What if you smiled and said, "Yeah! I liked that! What are you gonna do for me today?" and then wiggle your eyebrows at him.

I'm being slightly silly here, but the idea is that vicious cycles gain a lot of momentum. They won't be stopped by ONE conversation or ONE wiping down of the kitchen counter. Understand that your feelings lead to your actions which lead to your feelings which lead to your actions, and so on. So at some point, if you honestly want to change the dynamic, then you have to fake your feelings and focus on actions. In all likelihood the feelings will follow sustained change in behavior.

I don't blame you, OP, this sounds miserable, but I also think that you can change more than you think. And if you can't, well, at least you tried to have your cake (stay married) and eat it too (with warmth and good sex too). [/quote]

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