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[quote=Anonymous]
"We've tried therapy." Maybe you had a dud therapist who only repackaged what you both said and fed it back to you and gave you zero "homework" to try to achieve specific goals in the relationship--? From the tone of the whole post I figure you are now unwilling to make any more effort at all in the marriage so I won't point out that sometimes the issue is the therapist. I suggest you do individual therapy, not couples therapy, now, to figure out why you are unable to speak to your  DH and say all the things you say in your post to total strangers. Maybe you think you've said them, but he hasn't actually heard you.

Oh, and opening up the marriage -- how DCUM loves that idea! -- is a sure path to divorce eventually anyway, so you can either go for open marriage and expect eventual divorce (undoing your whole "we can keep it together for the kids" expectation), or you stay where you are and work on things, or you divorce now before your kids are any older, so the kids can get used to split households sooner and can make that their normal.

As for that middle option, work on things: As a PP above noted: Do you love him at all? Did you ever? If he changed, what happened and why? If you feel the whole domestic load is on you, why tolerate that and why not tell him he can pick doing specific things but if he won't, they don't get done by you? If you hate the phone time, why not commit for both of you to have certain phone-free hours each day? Even watching a show sitting next to each other is more interactive than his sitting around using his phone.

Have you told him as bluntly as you have told us that your sex drive is high and he's losing out every single day? Or do you keep that all in your head? [/quote]

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