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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kid is at a magnet school in Moco and I'm not seeing this at all, at least not as a widespread phenomenon. The college admissions rat race can be awful, but a lot of it depends on how the parents support their kids and manage expectations. Is my kid grinding through and sleep deprived at times? Yes, but not all the time thankfully. Most importantly, DC feels satisfied and fulfilled by engaging with a curriculum that is appropriately challenging. DC sets their pace, not me, and we don't force any ECs they don't enjoy. So, even with very high stats and rigor, they probably won't get into HYPMS, but their college readiness will be outstanding and I feel confident they will do very well wherever they land. Most of the parents I know have the same attitude. There are a few extreme "Harvard, MIT or bust" parents who make their kids' lives miserable but that is the exception not the rule ime. Of course, mental health issues have intensified since the pandemic. I could see the combo of high-pressure schools, high-pressure parents, and that creating a toxic stew but, again, I haven't seen much of that in my kid's circles.[/quote]

That's great, but it's also anecdata.  The increased risk for negative outcomes for kids at high-achieving schools is well-established at this point.  Yes, parents can do things to reduce that risk, but not if they don't know about it.[/quote]

+1 and you really don't know what is going on with other kids. They can hide a lot of anxiety and despair.

I thought we were doing the same things-- following DD's lead, not pushing her to take on too much, not talking about college or doing things to improve her college resume, encouraging balance, etc. And then she had a huge meltdown in 10th grade because she was getting all this college pressure from the peer environment. Our not talking explicitly about college and how there are lots of schools that can be a great fit left a big void for the school culture to set up camp in her brain. Showing her some "safety" schools that could be a great fit and talking about how the things she enjoyed doing would be valued in a college application helped lower the stress. You have to actively work to counter the culture in these high-achieving schools because it is there even if you don't think it is. [/quote]

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