Reply to I’m on the autism spectrum. How I wish people could have helped me socially

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if I went around explaining to people everything they do that annoys me, I would have zero friends.

It is low EQ to share that kind of thing with the person because it is hurtful to the person, especially if it is something they cannot change like a tic.  My own son has tics and I do not point them out to him, because they stem from anxiety and he can’t stop them.  It would just make him more anxious and make the tic worse.  I work behind the scenes to address the root cause of the anxiety instead.

I would gently suggest that a therapist is the BEST place to get this kind of social skills training.  Not your friends.  I know it is expensive, but it is worth it.  A friend will not do this for you, because they don’t want to hurt you.

I have on occasion told friends about things they can fix.  The absolutely worst was having to tell a good friend of mine at college he had BO.  To this day I still die inside a little thinking about that conversation, but he did fix it.  He was absolutely mortified, though.  We never mentioned it again and pretended like it didn’t happen.

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This person is correct. It’s rude to tell people that they are being boring. You can try to steer the conversation, but most people are not going to tell you the things you are talking about unless they are super close, like family or very, very good friends. It’s unfortunate you didn’t give credit to what your family was telling you. Stop dwelling on the past; now you know better you can do better. You are still very young and it’s great you have help and the desire to change. Good luck.[/quote]

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