Reply to I’m on the autism spectrum. How I wish people could have helped me socially

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know if I'm socially awkward because of the weird parents I grew up with or because of being undiagnosed with autism, but I have been so grateful to the people who've moved through my life and told me things I needed to know in a very direct, straight-forward way. "Don't start a conversation with someone with the phrase you know what your problem is."  "Stop saying 'you should ...' to people."  "When you reach out to invite someone  to something instead of saying [b]"what are you doing this weekend?" instead say "I was thinking we could go to X Sunday morning - want to come?"  [/b]"Don't open the window or change the thermostat in someone else's home, just ask if they can make it cooler." [/quote]

What?  What’s wrong with asking people what they’re doing this weekend?  It’s a very common prelude to an invite. [/quote]

NP. I feel like I'm being put on the spot. I don't know if you're asking me for a favor or inviting me somewhere I'd like to go. It feels like you're assuming that if I'm not doing anything that I'm de facto available for your thing. I'm embarrassed when my answer most of the time is I'm doing nothing / relaxing / errands. And even when I'm doing nothing that still doesn’t necessarily mean I want to go to your thing even if it's a fun thing (due to depression and anxiety). I like the PP's approach of just extending the invite so I can accept or decline.

Same thing at work. I hate when colleagues ping me "are you busy?" "what are you working on right now?" I prefer "do you have the bandwidth to help me with X?" [/quote]

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