Reply to Help me understand what is going on with FIL's mixed dementia

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry you all are dealing with this. How old is FIL?  Is there someone with the hospice group that you can talk to?   The body shuts down at the end, and refusing food and water is common.  Also, a return of lucidity is known to happen as well.   I would not take his refusal of food to mean that you are starving him.

As a culture we do a very poor job of handling the decline and lead up to death.   If you are on social media at all, there are some hospice nurses who are seeking to educate people about end of life issues.   HospiceNurseJulie is one of them.  She may have some links to readings you might find helpful.   I found the book “Being Mortal” very helpful.   It’s a bit more about the “big picture” than the crisis point your family is in now, but I found it helped me in my thinking about these issues.
   [/quote]

Thank you. FIL is 76. The hospice put him on medication to calm him today and he ended up calling MIL to ask her to come see him. It seems like one day he tells her he loves her and the next day he is extremely angry at her. That is why she is having such a hard time coping. Is there a way for her to set boundaries with him if his brain is this far gone?[/quote]

NP. She just has to decide on her own boundaries and stick to them, although it’s okay if they change as things evolve; your FIL does not likely have the capacity for reason. Hopefully now that he’s in hospice they will be able to keep him comfortable and calm, and that will be helpful overall.[/quote]

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