Reply to Husband is hesitant to have kids and I don't know what to do

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think a lot of people have similar fears about becoming a parent. But men don’t seem to have the same biological clock that women do. I agree that you shouldn’t have to talk your DH into having kids, but it sounds like he may need some gentle nudging to overcome this hesitation.

Do you have any friends with kids? Are any of his guy friends dads? I was the first in our circle of friends to have a baby and my DH would tell his buddies how amazing it is to be a dad. I think it’s hard to envision the positive aspects of parenting. We used to live in DC and go out to lots of happy hours and concerts and dinners etc. Now we live in the suburbs and have lots of backyard hang outs and meeting at playgrounds with neighbors and friends. It’s totally different but still fun. [/quote]

I think the frank truth about having kids these days, and how hard it is is unless you are wealthy or have grandparents as next door neighbors, is more widely known.

When I had kids 15 years ago, there were no mommy or daddy blogs or podcasts, so I thought you had kids, stuck them in daycare, maybe had dinner and that was it.  I grew up a latchkey kid, with a very distant uninvolved dad so I didn't think it would impact life much.  That is NOT the modern era and not really feasible, and everything about kids is so much more expensive now (and when did strollers become a defacto luxe item?).

So I think getting frank answers from other dads will not help him; he'll see the "joy" but make note of their haggard look, dad bod because no time for gym, etc.

How wealthy are you?  Can you SAHM and basically let him work and you rear the kids and never the twain shall meet? Even that will be unattractive to him, as he knows you will have less libido and time for him, and likely you'll want to move to a house with a yard and be all suburban.

If you are 32, you are pretty late in the game and he is a total D for not voicing this years ago when you could have divorced and remarried without a ticking clock.  I honestly think he tried to trap you by the delaying.[/quote]

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