Reply to Vent - being a mom is not what I expected

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[quote=Anonymous]I know a million others have said the same thing, but just have to vent. I knew being a mom would be hard, but it's way harder than I ever expected.

It's not so much that I haven't slept since DC was born, that BFing sucks and never worked right, that I barely have time for anything... I feel like everything has been taken away from me. I know coming to grips with reality vs. ideal is part of the game, but I just feel like nothing has worked out. DC has had some medical issues, and I can't stop worrying about every little thing. That makes me feel like I can't even enjoy him. Others have this "my baby is wonderful" experience, and I just can't stop feeling there is something wrong with my DC. It feels like the ideal of a perfect child even for a short time had been taken away from me.

I wanted to BF - didn't work. I wanted to use cloth diapers - haven't more than a few times from exhaustion from other things. I feel guilty whenever I'm not paying attention to DC but sometimes really don't want to interact anymore.

You will probably say I am suffering from PPD, but I thought so and am seeing a therapist who says it's just "adjustment" issues. Not sure therapy is really helpful to me but don't want to stop. I find it bard to complain about issues when they aren't immediate, and I always put on a happy face for someone new, so therapy isn't that helpful to me.[/quote]

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