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[quote=Anonymous]OP- what is your DH doing to help you heal? It is very very common for someone who has been betrayed in their marriage to have the need to ask the same questions over and over and over. In the early days, we set aside 15 mins per day for me to ask questions. It's part of processing. When your entire world as you knew it has changed, the only way you can move forward is to first go backwards, understand what the reality actually was vs your perception of that timeframe in your life, process it, and then begin to heal. THere's literally no other way. Rug sweeping or skipping this will result in false reconciliation. Your DH HAS to be patient with this. It's the least he can do after blowing up your life.

Our therapist had us each compile a very detailed timeline. Him of the affair and me of my perception of that time. Mine was 11 pages and his was 7 pages long. We went month by month and talked and processed and though it was incredibly painful, once we were done with that, I have literally not had the urge to ask more questions in 6+ months. It's like my thirst for information and understanding was quenched. I felt like I had the whole pictures and knew exactly WHAT I was trying to heal from. Throughout the timeline comparisons, we also found a LOT of random situations and areas where we genuinely missed one another's struggles or needs or our communication was poor (not an excuse for the affair by any means, but it really highlighted areas we could work on moving forward and helped me understand certain areas that made our relationship weaker). I really can't stress enough how relieving this was for me and how much it allowed us to finally take a step towards rebuilding.[/quote]

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