Reply to Post affair, husband tired of me bringing it up

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it's normal to think about it frequently and have questions. Since you're already in therapy, I'd ask the expert how to deal with the constant rumination and intrusive thoughts. Your H should also understand that this is to be expected. [/quote]

I agree with this, but please do bear in mind that betrayed spouses perseverate about the AP LONG after the cheater has forgotten not only the feelings but the specifics of what was said and done.  Depending on the cheater’s age, they really will forget at a certain point and it is not gaslighting. Think about how much you truly remember about past relationships- and you were in those wholeheartedly. “I love you” exchanges via text in the dark, hot fantasy world of an affair carry little weight in the brightness of day.  I am not saying he gets a free pass, but ask yourself what you ultimately want out of your marriage? No one likes to be continually reminded of their mistakes and be asked to be an apologist indefinitely. If you see progress and he is contrite, don’t punish yourself for his sins and ruin your marriage. Think more of your future happiness than your former misery.[/quote]

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