Reply to Are there funeral planners you can hire to do everything so siblings do not need to interact?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why not just have your dad pre-set everything  NOW? It's actually common for folks to pre-buy (and prepay especially since it gets more expensive each year) a plot, coffin, decide on a headstone, wake/funeral details, etc.

And that way, Dad decides and can pre-pay . Besides, who want to make detailed decisions when you're in mourning and can barely think straight not to mention bicker with a sibling.[/quote]

Thanks. He did prepay some of that when we were planning mom's, but did not plan every detail. He is now fading and he is ill. Back then, when planning mom's funeral I had him write some of the details he wants when the time comes and I told him to share with sister as well. I would share those written wishes with a planner, but I am not willing to do in my mental health fighting for what he wants if my sister has her own ideas. She is like an addict when it comes to conflict so I do think for the dopamine rush she would go after something like that because she knows I would be upset if she tried to disrespect his wishes. I am willing to pay a middleman simply to not have interactions with her at all. We would just need the person to come up with a date she goes along with, the order of who speaks (I don't care if I am last, first, middle), whether there is music, food afterwards, etc. It should be very simply since dad did some of this, but when someone thrives on dramatics and conflict the simplest thing can turn into something that makes you physically ill.[/quote]

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