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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The 6 year old can certainly do things on his own so can the 3 year old. I don't know what their extra needs are but my kids and many friends kids at this age could do things. Getting dressed, getting backpacks together, bringing down laundry etc etc.  Getting water, for oneself and the little sibling. Private time in the house with the kids around and awake is impossible for most. Once a week i don't come home from work and work out/shop and have dinner on my own with DH doing everything pickup/bedtime. 
It is really hard and takes a lot of effort getting them to be independent but the work is worth it. [/quote]

Oh he's totally capable. He just refuses and has major tantrums. We lose SO MUCH TIME to these tantrums. I try to stay boundaries but DP and my parents and SIL tell me I'm too rigid and need to lighten up. It's infuriating. [/quote]

Oh thats really hard. Im sorry. I get it. It does get better with age and good routine if thats possible and a few non negotiables.  What does your DP say you should do? Just continue to service every need for a 6 year old? Parenting is really hard at all ages and kids push parents buttons differently. Not finding joy in every second is totally ok. There are days that we have a moment or two of awesome and the test is daily grind crud of keeping them alive and moving forward. Mine are 4 and 7. [/quote]

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