Reply to Spouse mentally checked out of marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^Btw, it absolutely sucks if he forgot the anniversary, but if you don't say something, you're part of the problem. People in healthy marriages speak up for their needs.[/quote]

The first year he forgot, I got upset. More on the mad spectrum, but let it go, figured everyone messes up periodically and it's not a big deal. Last year, for our 15th, he forgot again and I explicitly told him how hurt I was, that maybe one year I understood, but for a 15-year anniversary that one hurt, and we had a whole conversation about how much it means to me to be remembered in this way, more than my birthday, which I don't care about. He said he understood and would "do better." I was out of town until last night on a work trip so my head was elsewhere and not on passively reminding him. We don't share calendars, he doesn't look at the paper one I keep in the kitchen, etc. I don't know how much more I can do and still feel valued. But seriously, never in a million years would he forget golf. It's very specifically a "me" thing.[/quote]

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