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[quote=Anonymous]This is hard to post because I feel shame about it but I have a son and daughter who are not talking to each other. I have five kids total and my daughter tends to be very mean to my son who grew up learning disabled. Everything I read says not to take sides if your children are not speaking to you but I think my daughter is the one who is in the wrong here.  My son had been bullied by her for years and he finally blew up at her and shook her. This was four years ago and he was 37 at the time and she was 26. Obviously it was not a good move for him to shake her and he acknowledged that right away. He is someone who holds in his anger and so when he finally blew he really blew.

Because I finally had had it with my daughter bullying my son and I let her have it, she is extremely bitter towards him now where it eats away every part of her life. She text me complaining about him when we’re all together for Thanksgiving because she’s obsessed with catching him making social blenders because that’s like his only flaw and that’s from learning disabilities so not his fault.

What do I do here? Do I keep giving my daughter a hard time? Am I making it worse by giving her a hard time and should I tell both just to leave me out of it? I’ve asked my son to tell me when she starts to bully him so I can say something to her.  They don’t live together or anything and they’re both out on there own. However it remains an issue especially in celebrations and the family.

Again I don’t condone my son shaking his sister by any means but it was very understandable with all the bullying and his learning and emotional disabilities making him highly sensitive but wanted to hold everything in.  He was bullied without mercy as a child. On my daughters and her sensitive reaction to her brother shaking her has me very concerned that she may have been abused at some point and that it was like a PTSD reaction but she refuses to acknowledge this when I talk to her about it. My son is a suicide attempt survivor so I don’t want to risk anything making him relapse that way as it’s been about 20 years since his attempt.

Any advice on how I should handle this? [/quote]

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