Reply to Professional women married to blue collar

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Professional women married to blue collar"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I know a few couples-mostly happy (afaik.) One guy runs small, one-man type businesses that never really go anywhere, so she’s the breadwinner.  They’ve been stuck in a condo for 10 years with two kids but I think that’s mostly due to unchecked credit card, and misc spending and optimism on his part that she can’t (or won’t?) crack down on.  BUT he is a very involved dad, soccer coach etc, and supportive partner, moved for her career, etc.  I’m sure she occasionally resents the pressure of being the insurance holder snd breadwinner but then I also know sahm’s of bigwigs who have similar (or more) lifestyle resentment.

Know another couple where he does construction work and she’s a remote white collar fed.  They are both very into fitness and have a very nice life, nice house gorgeous kids, but they live in an exurb where the values are different.

A third couple with unconventional income disparity but not blue collar- her-biglaw and him-adjunct college professor - didn’t work out.  I think he thought he could embrace the primary parent role (proud feminist and liberal) but ended up feeling insecure about not being the breadwinner?  His serial cheating ended that one so I guess who knows if it was about incomes and childcare but she suspected it played a role. Apparently there is some statistical evidence that men are more likely to cheat if they earn less than their partners, which may be due to them feeling insecure about social pressures around inadequacy as a male provider.

I think it can work op, but you are up against social headwinds some of which are not fair to dads at all.  And if you, as a partner, have contempt for him as a provider as well, then that’s a recipe for disaster for the relationship.

Is there anxiety or adhd involved that causes him to need to opt out of work or family pressures that could be treated?  What are the ways in which he is a supportive partner or parent? Would you be satisfied paying him child support for many years even if he remarried or found another baby mama which he would be entitled to on your dime?  How would your family quality of life decrease if you effectively have to support two households on your current income.  Just things to consider, hypothetically, op.  Good luck.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics