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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have tips on visiting loved ones with dementia? I have trouble not crying, just [b]seeing how much they don't remember but are trying to.[/b] I hear from their closest caregivers that they really appreciate all visits, and thankfully are still very pleasant and not agitated. I have experienced agitation and meanness in the past with other relatives, which was hard in a different way. It didn't make me cry because I could steel myself to it.

How do you get through these visits without breaking down? How best to leave a visit if they feel like you just arrived and cycle through the same pleasantries? Should I bring photos? Something else to distract or focus on? Do you think it makes a difference for them to have visitors? [/quote]

IME with my parents who have dementia, it's not really that they are "trying to" remember anything.   They have their own reality.   [/quote]

And to add to this, in my experience it’s best to go along with their reality, rather than try to correct things they get wrong.[/quote]

So if they say "so how did we meet again? Was it in the park?" Do I just say "I met you when I was a child, I'm your sister's daughter?" Or say "yes, maybe it was the park?"[/quote]

I'm a pp that said "IME with my parents..."

My parents basically reverted back to their childhood.   Both of my parents have made statements that they think we (my siblings and I) are THEIR siblings.  Last week, my dad was talking to someone on the phone and was referring to my brother (his son) as HIS father.  My Dad also thought my mom (his wife) was HIS mom...and my mom thought my dad was just a complete stranger.

If you say "I'm your sister Alice's daughter" you may get a response like "Alice has a daughter?"-in a shocked voice--because she thinks she and her sister are still just little girls, kwim?   At least, that's how it was with my family members...I guess other people could be different.[/quote]

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