Reply to Anyone else scapegoat child of narcissitic parent w/golden child uninterested in care?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, we should meet for coffee. I could have written half of this or more. Are there really NAMI groups for children of those with personality disorders? Anyone have a link.

I agree to an extent with the poster who said Golden Children are victims too, but some get help and want to break the cycle and some join in the abuse. My GC sibling joined in the abuse and will absolutely inherit far more doing far less.

Honestly, my life got so crazy I was going to lose it if I didn't set boundaries and do some rope dropping. I had to detach and distance. didn't go over well, but I had my own health crisis so it was easier to do as literal survival.

We do have a geriatric social worker involved though and mom pays for it. She hooted, hollered, tantrummed and told me I was a selfish Biotch, but eventually she agreed to it because she wants to live as long as possible and have the best care.

I do think some are already taking advantage, but nothing criminal. Mom would never go to therapy. Instead her housekeeper, gardener, hairdresser and accountant are her "yes" people, BFFs and "therapists" in her mind. I am always hearing about she paid the housekeeper to have tea with her and listen to her vent about us or she paid the accountant to listen to her discuss for the 176th time if she needs to re-do her will and cut me out. She's getting a bargain with the housekeeper, hairdresser and gardener listening to her vent, but with the amount her accountant charges, the accountant will probably buy herself a new car just from charging a fortune to kiss up to my mom rather than just referring her to a therapist.[/quote]

I will try to find the NAMI link a friend sent, it looked real.

Your post is so funny, my brother says the same thing about the cleaning lady, gardner, hairdresser, etc being paid to socialize. And she DOES vent about us, one provider recently said that I'm so nice and helpful, nothing like what my mother described, lol. Since then they all swarm me with info on things that need to happen and since I can't execute any of it, I've been feeling overwhelmed.

I wish my brother would get help. He still says he would have had a happy childhood but for me but that could not have been true with such ill parents and twisted dynamics. He drinks, like them, and has poor relationships with his kids, it makes me sad. I try to keep in touch with them but having always heard me devalued, they are not all that interested. He's been married several times and that has been hard on them too.

When my mom was recently hospitalized and then discharged to rehab, she treated the staff like she treats me and my brother's wife. They sent the psychiatrist in regularly. Alas he thought medicating was too risky in light of everything with other heatlh conditions. If the anxiety was lower I think it might help the lashing out, I dunno. They all commented on how quickly her moods changed and would joke about her yelling at us on the phone and them being able to hear it from the nurses station. It was nice to have others see the reality. I brought them cookies pretty often, they were a little buffer and bit of normal and I appreciated that.

How did you find the social worker? That is what is needed, I think. That was a genius idea. [/quote]

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