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[quote=Anonymous]I have another perspective based on my experience. My mom slipped into depression and decline as dad's health issues increased and I went into full rescue mode. I helped her with dad, found a program where he got out of the house and she got a break, helped her get aides, took her out, did everything to cheer her up. She remained miserable. She blamed dad until he became to ill to blame so she blamed me! Meds helped when she would take them, but she kept going off. When dad died, I became the object of her complaining and misery full time and she started having outbursts. Every time she goes back on meds she is better, but now even on meds her obsession has shifted from hating and resenting dad to hating and resenting me.

So, my advice is this-get an aging care expert involved to asess. Let her doctor know she is still miserable despite meds mif she won't advocate for herself. Don't enable her. Help her find outlets, but if she refuses, don't try to fill in the gaping hole in her life by taking her out more. She needs outlets beyond you. Love can turn to hate in shocking way when there is mental illness and you need to protect yourself. Detach with love. Be there for her, but do not be her life. Take care of yourself. Let the experts guide you-aging care expert, doctors, etc. Learn to accept she may remain miserable. Don't let that make you miserable.[/quote]

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