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Reply to "Do you remember compliments you received when you were a child?"
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[quote=Anonymous]I was the teachers' pet, and praise was directed at my propensity to listen attentively, follow rules, hand in quality work, etc. Which was said with genuine admiration, but did make me very boxed into that "nice girl doesn't make waves" identity for many years. I struggled with advocating for myself and with confronting people who needed to be confronted. My son has the same soft, rule-following personality and I've tried to teach him how to self-advocate. It goes against the grain, especially when his teachers praise him for being such a polite and unassuming young man! You raise an excellent point, OP. Compliments can sometimes make people avoid exploring other aspects of their personality, just because they believe they must identify with what others think about them. It's a double-edge sword.[/quote]
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