Reply to Anyone grow up with a parent who suffered from depression?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother has depression throughout my childhood. She was a SAHM. She did the bare minimum required to parent (enrolled us in school, had food in the fridge, etc). She spent probably 8-10 hours each day mindlessly playing Solitaire on the computer.  She would just sit there and stare at the computer.  She also slept a lot.

As a kid, I didn’t mind it. I made my own meals, did my own laundry and didn’t rely on her for much. I was very embarrassed by her appearance (never brushed her hair/teeth, would wear the same thing multiple days in a row). I spent most of my time at friend’s houses. Like, whole weekends. I’d even go on vacation with my bff’s family.

As an adult, I see how much I missed out on (never had a birthday party, never baked anything, never went shopping for fun, never decorated for Xmas, etc). I make sure to celebrate everything with my kids, which has been therapeutic.

Also as an adult, I realized how I had to solve all my problems by myself (my dad was around but worked a lot) and the pattern of not relying on others continues to this day.

Like another poster, our house growing up was pretty messy / hoarderish.  I was embarrassed by it. Surprise surprise, my house now is spotless and very minimalist!

My mom never did get help. She refused. My dad divorced her after the kids were grown and she now spends her days reading and watching Netflix. She’s 73. [/quote]

I had a similar experience though I realized as a child just how bad it was relative to other families I interacted with. Also my mother was so awful and mean that people would point that out to us frequently even when we were young kids. I’m doing so much better as a parent despite it! [/quote]

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