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[quote=Anonymous]My dad had major depression and basically self medicated with alcohol. He never held a job in my lifetime despite a law degree (from podunk I, so hardly door opening anyway).

He slept everyday until noon, did household chores like grocery shopping and some cleaning, and then spent the evenings drinking and watching tv till midnight. Rinse and repeat. No friends. Rarely did much with us kids, but was pleasant enough. Not an angry drunk. My mom worked and had bulemia, but she was essentially our stable parent.

I ended up okay, good in school, good college, but fumbled in my career since I have low self esteem (I’m male) and I think that has really hindered my career progress — doing well on assignments and tests is one thing, etc. real world work requires a lot more autonomy and confidence.  Married, kids, though my DW is breadwinner, which oddly parallels my parents dynamic. Im not unemployed; im an SME on a Fed contract just my DW is a bit of a rock star.

My sister has had a much worse outcome. She also did well in school, good college, even law school at T50 law school. But she has never held a real job — for a short time before law school she had a paralegal job but she lived at home and my parents did everything for her: cook, clean, shop. She just got up wen to work came home and then stayed in bed watching tv all waking hours. She is now living on disability in my parents home, having lost her job out of college because she could not make it out of bed half the days (and this was very forgiving govt job that tried to work with her).

I don’t quite know why it went down so bad for my sister. Genetics? Some interaction with my dad I didn’t see? She had therapy since 7th grade, so I don’t know what to suggest to help your kids, but I would try to foster resilience and confidence because having a depressed dad I think may make you feel less than. [/quote]

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