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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ILs quick decline sent my husband into therapy.  It helped him a lot to talk with someone and work through his anxiety.  One thing he had to accept was that they are adults and can make their own decisions.  Even if we think they are making the wrong choices its their lives.  (My MIL is in poor mental and physical condition but they refuse to consider assisted living/nursing homes but their quality of life living at home is poor.  Ultimately, we can help in small ways but this is the way they choose to live.)  [/quote]

I actually checked the date on this to see if I wrote it because we are in exact same situation w my in laws. It’s so hard to see them living like this at the end of their lives when just a few years ago they were happy, active, engaged. We really didn’t think they would decline so rapidly.

Best advice is what others have said about getting into therapy or some kind of support group and of course taking good care of yourself and your nuclear family. But also for me seeing their rapid decline has made me determined to live a full life and not put things off for when we’re older (take the trip, do the experience, make the most of the holidays and birthdays, make the effort to spend time w loved ones, be fully present in the moment w my kids and not on my phone so much and seeing their poor decision making as they experience cognitive decline has made us think through planning our own elder care more before we reach that point (get our will and POA in order, clean out our house, etc)[/quote]

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