Reply to Why don't parents understand that their kids lie and/or misrepresent things?

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Reply to "Why don't parents understand that their kids lie and/or misrepresent things?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem is that adults lie too and have biases.  I have had trusted adults lie to face about events involving my kids (where other kids’ independently told their parents the same thing my kids told me and on at least one occasion the adult later admitted to someone else that they lied to me).  So, I take things on a case-by-case basis. [/quote]

This. I know my kid’s perception might be skewed and I absolutely factor that in. I also of course know my kid might not be truthful if she’s afraid of getting in trouble or some other bad outcome, though I work very hard to help her know that her honesty will always be rewarded with my empathy and understanding.

But yeah, teachers and other parents and kids can be biased too. And especially if a teacher is trying to impose a very specific narrative on something, and not just telling me facts, I will absolutely take that with a huge grain of salt.

Like if a teacher tells me that me kid got upset at recess and had trouble calming down, okay I believe you let’s work together to address. But if the teacher editorialized or tries to tell me that the reason it happened is ABC when my kid is saying it was XYZ, I’m not just going to adopt the teacher’s viewpoint. Especially if it means telling my kid “what you say happened didn’t happen.” Can you not see how that’s problematic?

I’m playing a long game here snd it requires me to give credence to what my kid tells me, even if I reserve some skepticism about specifics. You’re just one person and you’ll be out of my child’s life in a few months. I’m not going to trust you over and above my own child on all things.[/quote]

Totally agree. A few years back one of my kids was having meltdowns in class. Not only did the teacher totally minimize her role in this and fail to even attempt to understand what was triggering this (the kid being ignored repeatedly by her when he needed help understanding her incredibly unnecessarily complicated instructions that were not even remotely age appropriate) but she also gleefully dramatized her accounts to us. For example telling us he was “throwing things around the classroom” but when pushed for more details admitting that he slammed his own bag down onto his own desk in frustration and didn’t throw anything. Obviously still not great behavior but not as disruptive as she made out.[/quote]

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