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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am sorry, op. For me, my loved one with dementia was always fairly anxious and paranoid, so that hasn't been as big a change (for better or worse). But it's hard to take on a more caretaker role with someone who was always able to take care of herself. It has been hard for our family to coordinate how to meet her needs when all the adults have full time jobs and other commitments. And it is sad to see her confused and not sure who we are or what's going on in her life and ours, and unable to do stuff she used to enjoy (play piano, mah jong, read). Dementia really sucks. [/quote]

So sorry. When you say caretaker, is that in her house? I am struggling with living really far away from home, so I wouldn’t be able to be present day to day. This adds to my feelings of guilt. I also really miss the old her. What a great mom she’s been, what an amazing grandmother to my kids. [/quote]

I am so sorry. It's my grandmother, and her adult children handle most things, including arrangements for aides. I visit several times a year, do research on various topics (memory care facilities, hospice, different meds), and have a set time to call her weekly. When I visit it's very different from spending time with her used to be --it's all about doing things that make her comfortable, running errands for her, adapting to her emotional state and meeting her needs...so probably how she felt about visiting me when I was little! It's not always fun, but I feel glad to do it..it helps that I am not the on-call person the vast majority of the time so avoid burnout. Op, I am glad you have a great mom and great memories of her, even though I understand how it could make things extra painful now.[/quote]

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