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[quote=Anonymous]Internet literature says that "empaths" lure narcissists, and I can see how that would make sense. Empaths are freely emotional/intuitive, and narcs want what empaths have and what they give out to others.

However, what I have actually seen IRL is that people with trauma get with narcs. They may have poor boundaries, addictive behavior, codependence. Narcs might want the empaths, but it's these traumatized ones who will get drawn in and stay with them for years.

I had an NPD/BPD parent and have trauma/PTSD, but I have avoided partners who are narcissists. I can't take controlling personalities, at all. However, most of my partners have had trauma, complicating the relationships in various ways. But more than that -- I seem to be friends with a lot of victims. A disproportionate number of my friends got involved in abusive relationships with a narcissist.

I don't mean I made friends with people who said they were victims. I mean that I made friends when we were young and single, and they went on over the years to get into these relationships.[/quote]

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