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[quote=Anonymous]My mother, who is 81 and has moderate Alzheimer's, lived with us for two and a half months.  We moved her in with us because living alone in her subsidized senior apartment in NJ was no longer safe or appropriate for her.  The management of her apartment building, as well as her geriatric care manager and her doctors, all recommended that she move into a living situation where she could have more supervision and assistance.  Initially we thought we could make it work at our house, but it quickly became clear that her condition was more advanced than we thought.  She was paranoid and abusive to me, my husband, and my two school-age kids.  She flat-out refused to go to the local senior day program and became belligerent when I took her there for a tour.  She basically took over the house and we were constantly walking on eggshells.  Our house was no longer our home.  I lost 15 pounds from the stress.  My kids were miserable and withdrew to their rooms to avoid interacting with their grandmother.  It was untenable, especially when she started wandering at night and engaged in unsafe behaviors like putting a plastic container of leftovers into the toaster oven, breaking drinking glasses and not cleaning up the shards, refusing to take her meds, etc.  We found an assisted living place 15 minutes from us where I could visit regularly.  She is now in the memory care wing and it's a relief to know that she is safe and looked after, with 24 hour supervision and assistance, meals, activities, etc.  There is no way we could provide for her needs at home when my husband and I both have demanding full time jobs and our kids (ages 11 and 17) need our attention.  I still take her to all appointments, do her laundry, handle her finances, and oversee her care.  The staff knows I am there on a regular basis.  We're coming up on a year that she's been living there and it's been good.

Having an elderly loved one with Alzheimer's living with you, especially when you work full time and have school-age kids, can be challenging to say the least.  I strongly recommend that there be a back-up plan in place in case things don't work out.  It's a very cruel disease which wreaks havoc not only on the elderly loved one, but on the rest of the family as well.[/quote]

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