Reply to Any tips or advice re: interacting with elderly relative with borderline and narcissistic traits?

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[quote=Anonymous]Find out if any of her friends have gone into a nearby CCRC. If they have an are loving it, let her know. Let her know about all the social activities. Then whenever she complains say "sounds like you are lonely. Betty is having the time of her life at The Fancy House." "Sounds like you are sick of your neighbors. Betty says she has great neighbors at The Fancy House."

I have known 2 people and read one story in a newspaper a while back about how a narcissistic and difficult parent over time turned into a different person in residential. Yes, sometimes they just isolate and remain obnoxious, but some become the belle of the ball. Having a happier parent with friends makes your life easier. Plus, when you visit, only visit in commons areas. Those types need to keep up appearances and will be less likely to have a public a "flash of anger" in public. (Oh I know those flashes of anger too well.)

Normally I hate manipulation, but if you parent raised you telling you how your cousins, siblings and the neighbor's kids  were better in every way I think it's fine to keep bringing up Betty having a much happier life at the CCRC.[/quote]

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