Reply to Any tips or advice re: interacting with elderly relative with borderline and narcissistic traits?

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[quote=Anonymous]Does she have money to throw at this? If so, you need an aging professional to be assessing her level of need now and then. If there is no dementia, it's her choice to take meds and get therapy or not, but you should not enable bad behavior. If she gets difficult make an excuse to leave or get off the phone.If she vents endlessly about the people who abandoned her let her know the best person to work through that with is a therapist.

Reinforce the good behavior if you can by staying longer for the visit. Just make sure you never reinforce antisocial behavior.

If she ends up in the hospital, make sure you make it clear to staff she isn't coming home with you so they can find an appropriate placement. If she insists on aging in place do not enable that. It turns into a revolving door of people quitting or not showing up and you don't want to list yourself as emergency backup unless she chooses residential. Much easier to work with staff to make sure she is properly medicated and visit her there than it is to deal with the sh$tshow of aging in place.[/quote]

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