Reply to What type of care and where to find it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you for the responses. I agree that now would be a good time to move to assisted living, but I have other family members not on the same page. Just trying to explore what might be out there. [/quote]

The family members who think there's something better out there can be the ones to find it. Or really, to learn it doesn't exist.[/quote]

This. It's unrealistic and some of the ideas on here are people who either have never been down this road or who must live in rural areas in the 50s. You cannot hire somebody to make her meals unless it is a professional chef or something. Don't take advantage of the housekeeper who may not know these rules. You are putting that person in a terrible situation because there are regulations. It's not the same as a neighbor who brings you a meal when you are going through chemo. The housekeeper is not the person to give her baths. Many SAHMs don't need to money and those who do can find much easier gigs where they don't have to bathe someone and get their own insurance in case anything happens. Former teachers often tutor for good pay. I know someone paid to pick up an easy kid from school and watch him for an hour with her kids. People have side gigs just being a friend to a lonely elderly person and checking in without cooking, cleaning or bathing. Also, people so often underestimate the amount of work and the needs of the older person. Let the siblings who think this is no big deal come into town for a few weeks and attend to mom themselves to get a better understanding.

Also, I forgot the most important part. Did you mention if she is difficult? If that is the case, all bets are off. It will be a revolving door of people quitting and you have to worry about her setting off retaliation with no witnesses. In a facility, they have team meetings and figure out what works for the difficult ones (in addition to making sure they are properly medicated). They can change off people and keep mixing it up. Even if they are understaffed, it's a better situation than a woman alone with your mom as your mom pushes every button, and acts like an entitled nut (sorry...that one is personal).[/quote]

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