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[quote=Anonymous]My daughter had a "boyfriend" at 14 at the end of middle school.  It wasn't very serious.  My ex dh and I didn't like him but we didn't say anything.  They hung out over the summer but her time was constrained by travel and summer camp.  High school started and the academic stresses began in earnest.  The boy was a needy kid who wasn't attending the same pressure cooker school she was in.  He kept demanding and guilting her to spend her weekends with him.  She was making new friends and wanted to hang out with old friends too and weekends were the only time.

One day in November she came to me and said he was stressing her out with his constant texts and badgering her to hang out with him.
I made one simple statement to that - A high school boyfriend or girlfriend should be a source of joy and fun.  High school is stressful enough, do you have room for an additional source of stress in your life right now?  She looked at me with great clarity and immediately texted him that they need to meet at 8am tomorrow morning.  
And at 8:05 the next morning she broke up with him.  Man, she was impatient to dump him!

She waited a few more years before dating another boy in her high school.  They are both of much more similar temperament but I don't think they are terribly serious. But she was a lot more careful about who she chooses to spend time with and there is a healthy dosage of time for sports, extracurriculars, friends and this boyfriend (he kind of comes dead last).

All this is to say that these experiences can make us aware of what our character is, and how it is different from those who SEEM similar to us simply because of school and proximity but are actually vastly different.  She knows herself a little better as a result of that small phase in her life.
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