Reply to Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?

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Reply to "Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you need to be honest but very careful with words. Ask her today what questions she has, and how she is feeling. It is understandable that this process would shock or surprise her.

Emphasize how you are feeling as an adult and how you are making this decision rather than just educating the process details. “I love [dog] so much and i wish he could be with us forever. But he is old, and sick, and not going to get better. I know that it is hard for [dog] when he cannot do the things he loves. That is why I am listening to the vet’s advice about euthanasia. It is not killing the dog, but it is helping him die peacefully and comfortably when it is already dying. It is a very hard thing to do, but we are very sure it is the right choice because we have thought about it a lot and we have listened very carefully to our vet.”

Adjust as needed. But I agree that now that you’ve broached this topic you need to follow through. And I actually think it’s the right approach regardless. Kids can handle truth and hard things with proper support and it gives them the tools for later experiences. Think 5 years out. It is ok if your kid remembers this as a sad event. It is less ok if your kid remembers it as the time they realized that you were lying or a time that was confusing and hard to understand.

Lastly, circle back as much as needed after and provide the same, consistent explanation for why this happened. Your kid may ask a lot but it doesn’t mean the explanation wasn’t enough, it just means they need to keep hearing it. Resist the urge to vary your story or explanation. Consistency will help their processing.

Be ready too for questions like what happens to the body. Eg - you may not want to lead with “they burn it into ashes” even though that’s true, it’s very graphic and jarring image of your family pet. We answered by first talking about how the body is left but our dog was gone and there are a couple choices what you can do with the body. We wanted ashes because they allow a body to return to nature as dust. so we had the vet send the body to a place that takes care of animals after they are dead. The place cleans the body and makes a paw print for us to keep and remember, then they place it into a big machine. The machine helps the body become ashes and they provide us the ashes in a box. We can bury or spread them to help our dog be a part of nature forever, and we think that would make them happy. [/quote]

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